Editor's Note: This was our April Fool's Day 2012 post for our readers. Even though that day has passed (and our readers realize it was a joke), we hope you enjoy it!
There’s an old saying that it takes a big person to admit that he or she is wrong. Well, we like to think of ourselves as big people. We were wrong.
Nicki Minaj is the new Marvin Gaye.
We have come to realize that Nicki Minaj is the culmination of a century’s worth of recorded music, all rolled up into one, small, pouty, pink haired package.
Nicki Minaj is little Michael Jackson and grown-up Michael Jackson..and even Jermaine and Tito, too.
Editor's Note: This was our April Fool's Day 2012 post for our readers. Even though that day has passed (and our readers realize it was a joke), we hope you enjoy it!
There’s an old saying that it takes a big person to admit that he or she is wrong. Well, we like to think of ourselves as big people. We were wrong.
Nicki Minaj is the new Marvin Gaye.
We have come to realize that Nicki Minaj is the culmination of a century’s worth of recorded music, all rolled up into one, small, pouty, pink haired package.
Nicki Minaj is little Michael Jackson and grown-up Michael Jackson..and even Jermaine and Tito, too.
Sure, we ranted about her awful performance at the Grammy Awards, a head-scratching, bizarre, exorcism-themed, pretentious appearance that earned over 90% “dislikes” on YouTube – on the same night that Diana Ross’s Lifetime Achievement Award was barely mentioned -- but it is tough to stay mad at the girl when she gives us poetry like this:
When you was in New York, you was f$#%in' the yankee
I was f$#%in' wit base I was pitchin' to franky
These bitches so cranky, give em' a hanky
lil mommy I'm cold gimme my blanky
Nicki Minaj is Lennon and McCartney.
It took some deep soul searching but we now know that we were wrong and the Grammy Awards were right. For the last nine years we’ve been wasting our time focusing on quality musicianship, diversity of sound and intelligent lyricism, and what did it get us? The Grammy cutting room floor, that’s what.
Nicki Minaj is Prince and the Artist formally known as Prince.
So, beginning tomorrow, SoulTracks.com will be no more. We will from this day on be known as NickiMinajTracks.com. While we will continue to provide our readers with music news and reviews, from now on they will exclusively relate to all things Nicki. As the Grammy Awards taught us, the diminutive, rosy headed rapper is what popular music is about now, and we have decided that we want a piece of that action. So we’re going to take a new approach to the articles for which we’re known. Prepare yourself for hard hitting pieces like “Who’s prettier: Nicki or her alter ego Harajuku Barbie?” and “Is ‘Freaky Girl’ this generation’s ‘What’s Going On’?”
Nicki Minaj is the 1985 version of “We Are the World.” She’s not the 2010 version.
As part of our new website, all articles will be aimed squarely at the 16-25 age demographic. Anyone older than that is completely L-7, except we can’t say “L-7” because that would give away that we’re all over 25. Can we still use “wack” or are we past that, too?
Nicki Minaj is an Ohio Players album cover. One of the really good ones with the honey and fire hose and stuff.
Finally, any artists looking to be covered on NickiMinajTracks.com will be required to shock us in some way. Yodel, scratch your fingers on a blackboard, scream until glass breaks, turn the volume up to 11, whatever. But make sure whatever you send us is over the top.
We hope you like the new NickiMinajTracks.com. It is the product of minutes of thoughtful discussion around here. And if it doesn’t work out, well there’s always LMFAOtracks.com.
Happy April 1, SoulTrackers ;-)
Chris
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