SWV (Sisters With Voices) - Player HateHer (book review)

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Book Review - Player HateHer: How to Avoid the Beat Down and Live in a Drama-Free World
by Tamara "Taj" Johnson-George

You know she's wearing a weave."  "What does he see in her?" "Oh no she didn't wear that dress!"

I know you did it, just admit it; whether it's an under-the-breath remark, a snide comment to your friend or a verbal assault on your best girl (behind her back of course), the act of women cutting down others for what they have or do is called player-hating, a crime on humanity that practically everyone is guilty of. And in this glib, yet insightful book, Ms. Chambers (CEO of Pro-tential Management) and Mrs. George (Taj from SWV and TV One's  I Married a Baller fame) offer solutions, scenarios from other 'player hateHERS' and even testimony from their own lives, where, in spite of their own enviable successes, they've openly hated on strangers, friends and yes, even one another.

Book Review - Player HateHer: How to Avoid the Beat Down and Live in a Drama-Free World
by Tamara "Taj" Johnson-George

You know she's wearing a weave."  "What does he see in her?" "Oh no she didn't wear that dress!"

I know you did it, just admit it; whether it's an under-the-breath remark, a snide comment to your friend or a verbal assault on your best girl (behind her back of course), the act of women cutting down others for what they have or do is called player-hating, a crime on humanity that practically everyone is guilty of. And in this glib, yet insightful book, Ms. Chambers (CEO of Pro-tential Management) and Mrs. George (Taj from SWV and TV One's  I Married a Baller fame) offer solutions, scenarios from other 'player hateHERS' and even testimony from their own lives, where, in spite of their own enviable successes, they've openly hated on strangers, friends and yes, even one another.

After a brief tutorial about the origin of the term (which isn't as recent as you might think), the authors spend the next ten chapters explaining how girls are initiated into its clutches and how it can later paralyze them personally and professionally. It differs from many self-esteem/empowerment books in its humorous tone, honesty and level of self-examination. In chapter two, for example, "Why We Player-Hate: Jealousy Equals Insecurity," Taj---even as she's envied for her musical success and her marriage to a handsome and well-paid athlete---confesses that she's just as guilty of harboring the hate: "I always find myself wishing upon a star to have thicker hair, a smaller waist, and smaller hips. I just can't help myself. It seems like every time I run into someone with beautiful thick hair, that tiny little figure or beautiful smooth skin I player hate. I can admit it. I'm not rude about it...just jealous." Katrina is no different, as she reveals in "So You Think the Woman Has Everything!": "I Player HateHER big-time, especially when it comes to [Taj's] wardrobe! To me, the woman has everything! I can only imagine wearing some of the things she so boldly wears. ....So, the Player HateHER in me would describe [Taj] as a skinny tramp. There are some things she wears that probably wouldn't even fit over my big toe. And because of that, I hate on her!"

Not that they're the only ones; this book was ten years in the making, and over the course of its completion, the authors culled real-life tales from both hateHERS and the hated-on (from its companion website, playerhateher.com,). Women across the nation chime in with their experiences with two-faced home-wreckers ("Men: the Reoccurring Root of Player Hating"), high-siding fair-weather friends ("SOS-Scared of Success), family drama ("Relatively Speaking") and even minefields like Jungle Fever and Taj's own hater-targeted marriage to former NFL Eddie George ("Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover.").

Whether you're a woman wanting to change your player-hating ways, a man wanting perspective on the subject or just in need of a quick self-esteem booster, Player HateHER is a worthwhile read from two educated women, one of whom still using her voice to positively impact the world around her.

By Melody Charles

CLICK HERE to read our interview with Taj

 
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